Just Shoot Me!

Man Caught Flicking His Wand During Screening of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"

The real question is if he's a fan of Hermoine, Harry, or . . . Ron? Either way, he would have been better off if he had kept his little "Dumbledore" in his pants.

Meet Alexander Ofner.  The South Carolina man, 39, was arrested yesterday afternoon at Sea Turtle Cinemas after Bluffton Police Department officers responded to a 911 call about Ofner’s alleged indecent exposure. Using the projection booth as an observation post (as “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” unspooled nearby), cops spotted Ofner in the act, according to police.

Ofner, seated in the theater’s back row, was then arrested for his alleged X-rated behavior during the PG-13 movie. He was booked into the Beaufort County Detention Center, where he posed for the above mug shot.

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Francisco Hernandez, 22, stopped by a burger restaurant in Pico Rivera, Calif., to ask his girlfriend the question... "Stacy Will You Marry Me?" was written on the back window of his car, but "She said no," said Lt. Andrew Berg of the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department. "He was a little unhappy with that." Hernandez allegedly went back to his car and drove it onto the sidewalk and tried to run the woman down, but missed her. He escaped, driving away with two flat tires. As deputies headed to his house to talk with him, "our helicopter guys spotted him walking down the street carrying a bouquet of flowers," Berg said. Hernandez was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon. (RC/Los Angeles Times)

THE VERDICT: Apparently he was on his way to ask his second choice's.


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When Anne Semenovich, 74, of Spruce Grove, B.C., Canada, told scrap metals yard owner Vic Small why she wanted to purchase an incinerator from him, he didn't believe it. "She said she wanted to burn her husband there," he said later. Thinking she wasn't "all there," he instead dealt with her daughter, Laurie. Later, Laurie called for him to check the machine because it wasn't working. When he arrived and looked inside, Small found Alex Semenovich, 77, Anne's husband of 50 years, stuffed inside. Prosecutors say Anne shot her husband in the head, and then recruited her grandson and Laurie to help move the body. But after dragging the 240-pound man to the incinerator, it apparently wouldn't start, so they called Small, who called police.

 Semenovich was charged with first-degree murder, and surprised the court by pleading guilty to manslaughter. She was sentenced to the minimum, 4 years in prison. (MS/Vancouver Sun)

THE VERDICT: For sale: One incinerator, only used once. Recommended for disposal of objects less than 240 pounds.

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"A specialist advised me to do it," claims Michel Rouyer, a duck farmer in Gripperie-Saint-Symphorien, France. He was hauled into court after a search of his property found 11 pounds of processed marijuana and a dozen plants, and he said it was for medicinal purposes -- for his ducks. "There's no better worming substance for them," Rouyer told the court -- and admitted he had smoked some too. "This is for real," said his lawyer, Jean Piot. "Not one [duck] has worms and they're all in excellent health." Unconvinced, the judge convicted Rouyer and slapped him with a one-month suspended sentence and fined him 500 euros (US$684). (RC/AFP)

THE VERDICT: At least the ducks can fly really high now!


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What on Earth was this guy thinking?!

An El Monte, California, man was arrested on a domestic abuse warrant.  Realizing the police would connect him with other outstanding warrants once they checked his fingerprints, he decided to gnaw his fingertips until they were all bloody.  The police say they still got an identifying set of prints anyway. 

THE VERDICT: The prints would have just grown back anyway.




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Faribah Maradiaga, 19, "blew up out of control" in a class at Bellevue (Wash.) College and stabbed a fellow student in the arm, police say. Maradiaga complained about a video the class was watching, and the victim told her "the video was good and to give it a chance," the resulting police report says. Maradiaga went over to the woman, started "talking trash" to her, then pulled the knife and stabbed her, the report concludes. Maradiaga also allegedly threatened to kill the victim's family. Maradiaga was booked on $50,000 bail. The class: anger management, which Maradiaga was attending after a previous assault case. (Seattle Times) ...

THE VERDICT: I think I would be safe to say I don't think the woman is going to pass this class.

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Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"



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Detroit: R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer felon-location equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan gave them his drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.

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